It's early hours of the morning and I can't sleep. At first I panicked, until I remembered that I don't have to sleep if I don't want to. I can be awake. And so I am. Googling 'how to survive a divorce', because I think this is where I am heading.
I deleted a blog where I had an ugly rant about Mr Husband and I feel better now that I've done that. People that air their dirty laundry have always made me squirm - I came close to doing the same. Yuk.
I think of my mother when my parents got divorced. She was a lot younger than I am now and had 4 very young children. My brother was in fact only 2 when the divorce went through.
I don't know that I am made of the stuff my mother is made of. She's a proper dignified lady, she is. She doesn't let anger get the better of her, making her scream and shout and swear.
I'm worried I might go to pieces and behave badly. I need to take deep breaths and KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON. Actually I am so sick and tired of hearing that, I could scream.
But right now, I suppose there really isn't anything else to do, except to keep calm and bloody well carry on.
I think you're perfectly entitled to scream every so often, and swear, and rant. Even if it means walking up a hill or driving to the coast in winter to do it. I'm not going to tell you to keep calm but you will get through this and things will get better.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kath. I just have to remind myself - one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time is an excellent way to proceed. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this now, Nicola. I think you're perfectly entitled to rant and scream: I know I would.
ReplyDeleteDo take care of yourself, my sweet.
Thank you, Jane. Right now it is going from one day at a time to one G&T at a time. I'll get through it. I will.
ReplyDelete