Thursday, February 23, 2012


It would be a Down today. Down. Down. Down.

This is how it went... I woke up at the crack of dawn, to be at work at 6.
Youngest was already up, with diarrhea. Poor child hasn't been very well of late.
So, I wake Mr Husband, telling him that Youngest is ill and to see how it goes. At this point I'm thinking it could just be a once off and he might be fine to go to school. But, who knows?
I go off to work and later send Mr Husband a text to find out how Youngest is. I tell him to phone me  if things are not looking well, so I can make arrangements to go home when he needs to go to work.

Seems he leaves home before he gets this text, because I look up and there he is. (We work for the same company.) I'm suprised.
"Oh, Youngest off to school then?"
"No, he's home. But I'm sure he'll be fine until you get home."

(Cue sound of screeching car brakes, because that's what it sounded like in my head. Include smoke. Coming out of my ears.)

You see - there are a number of reasons why I could explode at this point.
1. Youngest can safely be left on his own for a short period of time. But not when he is ill! He now has diarrhea. Last week he was vomiting, so how does Mr Husband think it would feel for this young boy if he should start doing both - at the same time - without Mom or Dad being around???????

2. Why does he think that him being at work is more important than me being at work? Don't get me wrong - I would rather be at home with my child/children than anywhere else right now - sick or not, but that's not my point. Why does Mr Husband just automatically think that he can rush through the doors at work, smiling and waving as he breezes by, leaving me to go and organise time off and making sure there is someone to pick up the loose ends when I go home? Why does it not occur to him that perhaps he could have phoned in first, made his department aware that he would be late while I got things organised in my department before coming home?

3. The school sick line needs to be phoned when your child is off. If you do not do this, at about 9h15, the school will ring you to find out where your child is. So, imagine this: It is 9h15, I am still at work trying to get things organised while Mr Husband breezes through smiling and waving and the school phones our home.
"Hello, is your Mom there?"
"No, she's at work."
"Is your Dad there?
"No, he's at work."

(Cue police sirens, screeching brakes, smoke....)
In a place where 10 year olds can be seen roaming the dark streets at ungodly hours, it is still considered child neglect leaving a young child at home alone. You know - health and safety - kettles, irons, gas on hand. The fact that Youngest is probably not even aware we have an iron, let alone where to find it, plug it in and set the house alight is beside the point.

And then I realise that this - this incident that happened this morning, may seem so small, but it is in fact a symptom of a very large - in fact - the entire problem in this marriage.

So, I am just fed-up. Really, really fed-up, because it feels that there is no consideration given to myself and in this case, Youngest too.
Maybe I need to put the barbed wire back.


  1. Not so small an incident . . . I have a friend who is dealing with similar issues with her spouse and it's heart-rending to hear of his lack of respect for her and their child.

  2. One wonders why. I wonder what he would say if you asked him why he has no respect for his spouse and child? Mr Husband insists there is respect and sees no wrong in his often appalling behaviour.