Sunday, February 26, 2012

Being nice is an effort.

I tell Mr Husband I am frustrated, because I don't see real commitment - or real re-commitment from his side. I don't sense it, I don't feel it, I am not satisfied that it's there. I don't feel he is making an effort.

"You have no idea what an effort I am making." He tells me.
"Could you give me an example?" And I'm not being a bitch asking this, I am saying this kindly, because I can accept that maybe I am at times blinded (and deafened) by my Fed-Up-Ness that I could have overlooked the Good Effort he's making.

"Well, you know it doesn't come naturally to me to be nice...So, every time I'm nice to you I'm making a huge effort."


  1. Well, definitely not a laughing matter but Mr's example made me laugh.

    I think perhaps you need to sit down and have serious conversation about what needs are not being met. With no rancor, just honesty.

    I tell you this but I definitely know how hard that is. Definitely.

  2. Thank heavens I have a sense of humour, Marisa, else I might have thumped him. x

  3. Been there. Got through it somehow (still with occasional lapses). Respect, imho, is more important than love.

  4. Leigh, that's an interesting comment you made. So what happens when there's no respect? And no love?

    Nicola: apparently cooking for me but leaving the kitchen in a pigsty is an effort too... I'm trying to find the upside to that.

  5. I have to agree, Leigh. I also think that respect is more important than love. Love is like the booby prize when it comes with no respect.

    Sian, it seems that men do not see the benefits in having a clean kitchen.

  6. I love the phrase "Mr Husband". Well done on that. I agree, respect first, no respect by implication no love. Perhaps you should cook and he should clean up? Make a list of everything you do and tell him to pick "x" amount off that list and promise to always do it with a smile :) I tired that once with my Mr Husband. It did not work but its a nice concept. Hahahaha