Today has been One Of Those Days.
I am now at the point of falling to my knees to thank Mother Nature, The Universe, The Entire Planet and whatever else is out there that might have had an influence on getting my children to bed. Finally. At Long Last.
It's been One Of Those Days: "You always let him do it, but never me!", "Why don't you ever punish him? You only ever punish me?", "He got a pair of jeans, why can't I?, "He gets everything he wants, I never get anything!"
I am tired.
I am tired of trying to explain, negotiate, stand strong when I just want them to stop fighting, stop arguing, stop competing with each other, stop going on and on and on about crap!
And you know what? All those damn child rearing books I've read? I could make a bonfire with them all - that would be more useful than any purpose they have served, I can assure you.
There is no manual! Stop trying to make it up!
Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do and I believe that no matter how successful I am at anything in my life, it will be meaningless if I am not successful at being a mother.
And some days I don't care about being a mother, a writer, wife, sister, friend.... anything!
Some days I just want to be me. Damnit.
I think I'll go to bed now.
Goodnight.
Tell them. Tell your children how difficult things are, and how you know you're being unfair but you're trying your best and it'll all work out in the end, and that even if it doesn't you've done your best.
ReplyDeleteYour children are good people. They must be: they're your children. They'll get it, eventually, and they'll be glad that you shared with them.
I hope things get esier for you soon. x
Thank you, Jane. I find parenting at times so overwhelming and not knowing always what to do, frustrating. I love these children so much, and you're right - I need to tell them, tell them how hard it can be, but that I do, above everything else, love them. x
ReplyDeleteMine still carry on like little kids even at age 18 and 16. The bickering, the name calling, anything to drive each other and me crazy!!! I beg them to stop, I plead, do all the nice things for about 10 minutes to get them to be respectful or mindful of each other. They don't respond until i drop the "f-bomb" then they stop with each other both turn on me simultaneously and say "why do you always have to curse??" Hellloooo. Dr Phil? Anyone?
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